An insecure winter evening

Winter is in full swing. The wind, that rascal, is dancing around the trees, seducing them and stripping them of any remaining leaves struggling to hold on. Our dear old friend Jack Frost is paying another visit tonight, and the heater is roaring away, bringing cheery warmth to an otherwise dreary, drafty night. I'm up late, honing my burgeoning homemaking skills and browsing Pinterest for more cleaning, decorating, and homemade-gift ideas.

Cozy, but insecure.

That about sums up how I feel right now. I could curl up on this bed for hours and keep this feeling alive. It's a luxury, though. I pay for it by going to work a few days a week and budgeting like a madman. I'm blessed to have a wonderful roommate who not only shares the rent and groceries, but also shares her life with me. Furthermore, it's a blessing to live with a reasonable rent, great neighbors and a kind landlord. All of our basic needs are met. But it can't last.

My roommate is moving to another town and will soon be getting married.

Everything will change next month, and I can't stop worrying.

Even after all I have to be thankful for... I still haven't learned to control my fears.

So I must keep reading the following, because I desperately need to take it to heart:

 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:25-34