metaphor / met·uh·fawr/ noun - A literary figure of speech that uses an image, story or tangible thing to represent a less tangible or intangible thing, quality or idea.
meta / met·uh/ adjective - self-referential; referring to itself or its characteristics.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The God of grace, not grades


A truth universally acknowledged among the average college student is that the last few weeks of every semester are (almost always) the hardest.

And if you're obsessed with getting good (or better) grades, those same few weeks are hell.

Filled with worries, anxieties and nervous jitters, grade-obsessed students are likely to panic in the last few weeks before finals. They will start nitpicking their syllabuses, counting up how many points they need to make an A, and inwardly sighing at the professors whose grading scales don't include all the point-earning assignments.

Some students become hyper-vigilant and doggedly forge their way through the end of the semester. Others crash and burn, struggling to make it through each day without a homework catastrophe.

I tend to be of the latter variety, except that I start burning out much sooner. I've noticed a trend, too. I burn out at an earlier point in each subsequent semester. I start losing sleep, accidentally sleeping in, trudging through the days, finding difficulty explaining the simplest things and struggling to even write coherent sentences. It's a good thing (in more ways than one) that I'm graduating in May.

Burnout isn't always a symptom of grade-obsession, but despondence is. Whenever I start actually wallowing in despair, the only way out of it is to realize how I got in it. And for me, despondence about school starts when I make grades my idol.

It starts when I begin praying for handouts from God, in the form of energy, clarity and time. This prayer in itself isn't a bad thing, but when it becomes the only communication I have with Him each day, again and again, it starts getting unhealthy. I start unconsciously seeing Him as a rich relative I'm trying to convince to give me a new corvette. I forget the part about being created for His purposes, not my own.

And when He chooses not to honor my requests, knowing full well that they were from a wrong attitude, I grow discontented and wallow more in despair. A dark, dreary cloud of ungratefulness starts to cover my heart, blocking my view of God's great providence.

God wants us to put Him above all things, including good grades. If we spend all our energy on getting the grade, but leave God out while doing so, are we really improving our lives? What is one mark out of many on a transcript when you compare it to a thriving relationship with the most important person in the universe?